Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
