you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize