i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
