but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
