My friends, they love my intelligence
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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