Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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