can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
