Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize