Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
