So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
