Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
