She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
