I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
