the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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