"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
