If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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