We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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