ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
