Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
