This girl is more easily done than said...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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