handjob tips. give me some.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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