Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
