if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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