He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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