thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
