I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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