He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
