She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
