I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
tell me about the eggs
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