just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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