Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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