He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
