Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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