Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
