At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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