I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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