I wannas sexs uuuuu
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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