you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize