You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
