but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
