I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
