I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
