i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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