i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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