youre lurking in front of me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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