just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
