Acid is not a monday night drug
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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