omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
