i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
