you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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