Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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