the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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