My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
her vagine was all disorganized.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
