just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
