Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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