If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize