this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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