3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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