You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
