all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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