Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
