Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
