$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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