question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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