it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
