Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My penis needs a shock collar
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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