I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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